Our Blogs

As parents, it's our duty to control what images and messages our children are exposed to.  Unsupervised television watching is an absolute FAIL in parenting.  These three are the top of the Obsessive list for allowing your children t.v. time. 

1) With a digital antenna properly placed in your home, the television channel can be kept on PBS.  Kid shows play from early morning till 5:00pm max when the BBC news comes on.  Every show is educational by some means for the kids.  PBS has very few commercials (only for things like The Little Gym) and with the antenna, it's a FREE signal.  (P.S. - Downton Abby is awesome.)

2) Connecting through your Wii (and other devices) Netflix has a kids section and will tattle on your kids.  "Recently watched" is something they can't tamper with or delete and you can see what shows your kids have been viewing.  You can choose the shows in the Instant Queue and Netflix has NO commercials.

3) Hulu Plus, while not commercial free, does have some great shows as well.  You can catch your favorite sitcoms: The Middle, Modern Family... with minimal advertorial messages.  Many Food Network shows are on Hulu Plus and fun family favorites like America's Funniest Videos and Wipeout.  

Incredible, to have access to so many shows and movies with a minimal investment of the antenna and converter box, and then a couple of subscriptions that are less that $20 / month each.  Think of the money you'll save!  Think of the positive messages you can keep your children on, as opposed to a free-for-all with cable channels.  

It will be an adjustment for the family, but within a few weeks they won't care.  Take this Obsessive step and protect what goes into their little minds.

Sincerely,

The Obsessive Mother's Guide to Parenting 

Dear Obessive Mother's Guide to Parenting,

            My husband and I are having a huge debate: whether or not to put our son in pre-K.  He thinks I can just teach him his ABC's at home.  I think he needs the socialization.  Who's right?

Sincerely,

Amber from Kingwood

Dear Amber,     

            Great question.  There are four things a child needs to learn before going to Kindergarten.  

1) You have to obey the grown-up in charge.

2) You have to share and take turns.

3) Sometimes it’s not about you.

4) Our purpose is to learn something. 

The setting of where he learns those lessons is up to you.  He can pick up those skills in lessons at gymnastics, music classes, karate, sports and more.  You can absolutely teach him his ABC's with workbooks from your local book stores.  

OR you can put him in a pre-K class.  The advantages of pre-K are the teachers have experience with kids his age and he'll have a circle of friends he sees regularly.  It can also expand your social circle of mothers to become friends with.  They have a set curriculum so you won't have to worry about missing anything, and often it's of a spiritual nature (focusing on values) since pre-K's are offered at churches.

Cost will be a factor in your decision.  And availability.  Yes, it's June, but the good pre-schools are filling up fast for the fall and may have waiting lists already.

The real obsessive question is: what is right for YOU?  As his mother, what feels better?  The great news about that decision is its reversible.  If you want to enroll him and find it's not right for you, you might lose a month's tuition, but you can pull him out.  If you decide to keep him home, you can always change your mind and look for an available spot at a school you like.

Keep us posted on your decision and as always, happy obsessive parenting!

Sincerely,

The Obsessive Mother's Guide to Parenting

If you have a question you'd like answered, send it to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it and look for your answer in up coming columns. 

A Beautiful Mind 

by Amanda L.

We sympathize with your plight.  When the trees release their Spring pollen and the whole Houston area turns yellow, our whole clan starts the sniffles.  Here are some quick tips to survive the season.

 

• Communicate with the teachers.  From their perspective, they have no idea if your kid has the flu or is spending the week in Disneyland, and honestly it makes a difference.  When, as a teacher, we are told of an issue ahead of time, we have a chance to take the kid’s side and prepare lessons for him to take home.  Ask these questions: what is my child missing today?  and what lessons will you be doing further on in the week / next week so that I can keep my child prepared?  The teacher will love you for that.  Be prepared to hit her on all fronts: email, phone call to the school, note in a folder, etc.  Some teachers respond better in person than on paper.  

• SAVE the doctor’s notes.  It may not add up missing a day here and there, but come May, you may need proof of every absence if your student is in danger or not meeting attendance requirements.

 

 

• Rest, fluids and whatever meds your doctor prescribes.  Your “obsessive” concern here is that the child has so much fun staying home that she fakes illness.  

• Plan the days home around major due dates.  If she has a big test on Friday, let her stay home Thursday to recover completely.

• Is there anything more comforting than a hot bath and a back rub when you feel miserable?  TLC that child’s germs away!  You may not be able to fix the sore throat, but you can do something about the body aches.  

 

 

• First and foremost, NEVER send a contagious child to school.  Perfect attendance records are not a necessity in life, and besides, by contaminating the other kids you’re cheating.  (haha)

• Pack tissues (the good kind that doesn't scrape noses).  

• Pack lip balm and mark the container.  This lip balm has a special purpose.  As your child’s nose gets raw from the blowing, he can rub a little soothing balm on the area.  Just throw it away afterwards so you don’t reuse it on your lips.

• Check in with your child mid-way through the day.  Have lunch with them if you can.

• Pack an extra healthy lunch box and make sure your child has a water bottle to sip on all day.

• Attendance is counted first thing in the morning in most schools.  If you need to take your child out mid-way through her day, it’s not the end of the world.

• Cancel after school activities.  Well enough to sit in a classroom isn’t well enough to run around on the tennis court.  Moderate your child’s activities until she’s 100% again. 

Stephanie, we hope your little ones feel better soon.  Ask your doctor about seasonal allergies that are lowering your child’s general health and making her more susceptible to catching viruses, or going down harder with them.  We’re huge fans of a steam shower, saline sprays, booger suckers, and Mucinex, but that’s for your own doctor to call.  No medical advice here, only suggestions for being the best “Obsessive” parent you can be!

 

Dear Obsessive Mother’s Guide to Parenting,        

My son is a perfectionist and I love it.  He will erase and write again until his work is perfect, which obviously takes him longer than the other kids to do his work.  The problem we have is an unsupportive classroom teacher.  She won’t let him go out for recess because his work is not done yet.  Now he’s getting to the point that he hates school.  How can I get her to understand?

Sincerely,

Dear Steve,         

           Bad news buddy, both of you are wrong.  Let’s start with the main issue: COMMUNICATION.  Parents, in your marriage and relationships you communicate your feelings to each other and care when the other is upset.  You want others to care when you are upset, and yet when it comes to our children, we ignore their feelings and shut them down.  WHY does he have to make everything perfect???  Who is he making it perfect for?

           Your son needs to hear this: “You are WONDERFUL.  You do EXCELLENT WORK.  You are smart and creative and I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.  Your first efforts are excellent.  If you want to try again, you are welcome to, but your dad is very proud of this work right here.”   Go out and buy your son a nice pen.  Meet with him and the teacher and give him the special pen.  It is his “Special First Work” pen.   Explain to him that perfect work is nice, but meeting deadlines is important too.  You will be very happy with the first work he does with this pen (there is no erasing and re-doing).

           Note to all parents out there.  We want our children to get from Point A to Point C with something: riding a bike, learning to read, anything…..  Instead of talking to our children about POINT B, which will lead them to Point C, we criticize and dismiss.  We yell and punish.  We want them to magically get the concept that we are disappointed and figure out on their own how to make us happy again.  That rarely works the way you want it to work.  The child most often walks away with a bruised self-esteem and a distant, less-trusting relationship with their parent. 

          In EVERY discipline issue there are three steps:

1)   Tell the child the behavior is unacceptable.

2)   Tell the child how he/she can do that correctly.

3)   Praise them when they show the correct behavior.

Example for your son:

1)   Tell your child that perfection must balance in his life with time.

2)   Give him and pen and as assignment, asking him to give you his first work.

3)   Praise his first work and (his teacher needs to) allow him to play with his friends on the playground.  Put that work proudly on the refrigerator and go play catch with him outside.  If he would like to spend more time on the project after-school he is welcome to.  Remember, he will be a husband and a father someday.  He needs to understand the concept of Work-Life Balance now. 

Here's another common example:  The kids aren't sharing.

1) Tell them it is unacceptable to not share their toys.

2) Talk to them about the importance of the sharing.  Ex: "If I have a toy and you have a toy and we share, we have two toys.  If we do not share, we only have one toy."   Talk to them about how siblings is the best present you've ever gotten from Mommy & Daddy cause now you always have a friend to play with.  Ask them how we treat friends.

3) When you see the kids sharing, praise them!  Offer a special treat, like a bowl of ice cream to celebrate how well they are getting along.

        Thank you for your question Steve.  I hope this sheds some light on the issue and brings you and your son closer together.  If his behavior and school relationship does not improve, seek counseling.  It could be a deeper issue.  Communication is key.  All the best as you continue on with your obsessive parenting!

Sincerely,

The Obsessive Mother’s Guide to Parenting

If you have a question you’d like answered, send it to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it  

-Ryan’s Mom

Dear Ryan’s Mom,          

I know what you mean.  At my daughter’s Kindergarten class they covered a sugar cone with icing and candy and then ate it, on top of the donuts and cookies from earlier.  Skipping school has some problems though: how many has he missed before this?  Every absence counts.  Try some of these tips to balance out his day.

1.   Feed him protein for breakfast that day.  If you know he’ll be getting sugar for treats, don’t feed him a sugary cereal or toaster pastry for breakfast.  And stuff him with a full breakfast so he’s not as hungry when the temptation is put in front of him.

2.   Can you take some time to volunteer in his classroom?  Volunteer for an hour or two and help him and all the children in the class make good choices as to what they put on their plate.

3.   If it’s too late to change the sign up list and substitute donut holes for fruit, add to it.  Bring an additional veggie / fruit tray.  Bring sausage kolaches or a cheese tray.

4.   Netflix has the complete Biggest Loser series.  Pull up an episode where the contestants are facing a “temptation” and let him see how just because it is there doesn’t mean he has to eat it.

5.   Talk to him about moderation and about the effects of sugar on teeth.  Offer a reward game for him: for every treat he comes home with in his bag (instead of eating it on the spot), he gets one token for the arcade. 

6.   Talk to the teacher and other room moms about helping the students have a balanced plate of food.  The teacher should sympathize with you and know the pitfalls of a classroom filled with sugared up children.

7.   Finally – if the feast is over the top, and none of these work, allow him to be in school long enough to get counted present and pick up any assignment he needs to work on.  He’ll resent you for taking him out of the party, so plan a special treat instead (like seeing a movie). 

Bottom line:  He is YOUR son.  You pay the dental bills.  Go with your gut (and protect his).

Sincerely,The Obsessive Mother’s Guide to Parenting

If you have a question you’d like answered, send it to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it and look for your answer in upcoming columns.

Well dear Readers, we are Home Sweet Home from our early Christmas, our alternative family holiday, our reward we've looked forward to for the past several months.  We've returned from the Dixie Dude Ranch in Bandera, Texas. 

 Here to report to you, we had a wonderful time!  This "Obsessive Mother" had a few personal hurdles to get over, ex: rustic cabin accommodations (see pic), but I'm happy to report I did obsessively pack and turned that little cabin into our temporary home.  See packing suggestions at the bottom.

The biggest lesson of the weekend was the quintessential example of what Obsessive Parenting is all about:  my 7 year old had on long-john's, layers of warm clothing, a jacket, a water resistant top jacket, gloves that came up to her elbow, ear covering, UVA UVB polarized sun glasses to keep the wind out of her eyes, and of course a HELMET on.  I knew the people at the ranch, the wranglers and their long history of taking care of their guests.  She was 100% prepared and I sent her out the door, not on a chained pony being led in a circle, but on her own horse! 

My oldest rode ahead of me up into the hills of West Texas.  I was SO proud of her!  She didn't say she was scared or cold.  She KNEW her mother had all the bases covered for her and that she could go on this adventure with confidence.  Obsessive Parenting is NOT about over protecting your child.  It's about ROOTS and WINGS.  If you give you child nothing but roots, you have the 35 year old still living at home (or it's a down economy and no one can find a job).  If you give your child nothing by wings, you have the child that won't come home for Christmas.  Our goal is to give our children both. 

Joining us at the ranch was a lovely family headed up by their matriarchal grandmother who will frequently say, "let's all go to _______" together, and they go.  It was an inspiring sight to see the generations of their family enjoying each other’s company.

The staff at the Dixie Dude Ranch did an excellent job of attending to our needs.  I don’t want to miss any of their names, so I’ll just give an all inclusive shout-out of THANKS for making our weekend so special.  The food was delicious and the happily met our every allergy issue.  The wranglers were knowledgeable and helpful on the rides, especially when my daughter’s horse decided to take its own path.  The front staff was accommodating with hot chocolate and a stoked fire ready anytime we came in from the cold.  The Dixie Dude Ranch is a family place.  You bring your family and you also become a part of theirs.  Here’s their website if you’d like to make a trip: www.dixieduderanch.com  Tell them Karen Branch sent you.

Obsessive packing suggestions: HELMETS.  Layers of clothing.  Rain gear just in case.  Ear covering that will fit inside the helmets.  Sun glasses for eye protection and to keep the wind out.  I personally prefer to travel with my own mattress protectors, sheets and pillows (after the nationwide bed bug issue).  A fire extinguisher (First Alert’s Tundra Fire Extinguisher).  A heating pad.  A portable DVD player & charger.  Disinfectant spray, gloves, and paper towels.  (I always go over our hotel rooms myself: door handles, light switches, flush handles, remote controls, etc.,  although the Dixie staff had already done an excellent job of cleaning our cabin.)  Snack food in a sealed container (Rice Chex, pretzels, raisins, etc.)  Enjoy!  

     Jackpot - I have perfected the secret to holiday survival and wanted to share it with all you other Obsessive Parents out there.

    This year we are escaping to the Dixie Dude Ranch in Bandera, Texas.  Why there?  Besides the lovely lodging, meals, shows, etc, we ALL get to go horseback riding in the hill country.  The ranch has been in existence since before the 6 year old minimum-to-ride rule was put in place so my three year old will get the experience as well.   

We are also going in early December, sneaking away for a private family holiday before the stress takes over.  Give your children experiences, not stuff, I always say!  THIS will be an experience.  Two months from now I will be sitting in a rocking chair watching the sunset in the Hill Country.  I will be buckling the bike helmets on my daughters as they go up the mountain on horse-back, my youngest in the saddle with me.  I will be sharing meals (not cooked by me, nor am I responsible for the clean-up) and watching cowboy shows by the bonfire.   

This column is about the Art of Anticipation: something on the horizon to look forward to that lifts your spirits.  I can survive these months for those 15 minutes of peace as the sky changes to hues of orange and pink as evening falls over the hills.  I encourage you all, no matter what you are going through, as a tool for yourself and your children, to put a “good thing” on the horizon.  It can be as small scale as: if you don’t cry when I drop you off at Mother’s Day Out this morning you can have a big bowl of chocolate ice cream when you get home.  It can be as big as a trip to a ranch for the holidays.

It can also be a medicine to heal a hurt like no other.  My mother passed away in March of 1992.  A few weeks later during Spring Break my whole family, aunts and uncles too, went out to the Dixie Dude Ranch.  We got away from the grief and the stress.  We had a wonderful experience and were able to let some of our sadness go.

In 2007, my marriage was stressed almost to the breaking point.  We took a vacation again, got away just the three of us at the time (my oldest was 2), and spent a week at the Dixie Dude Ranch.  We INVESTED in happy times.  We came back with a shared joyous memory, one to count on the “happy” side of the list, countering the “unhappy” ones.  We’ve been married for ten years now and are so excited to be returning to the ranch with our youngest daughter.

I cannot tell you how much the Dixie Dude Ranch means to me.  I encourage you to look into it, or another destination vacation for your family this year.  Our own hometown has many options for adventure and fun, but decide now or soon and put it on the calendar.  Print a big sign and put it on the fridge, “Look what we have to look forward to!”  The Art of Anticipation, something to look forward to and having my own personal alternative holiday this year…. It means the world to me.

Stay tuned to hear how the trip went and to see pictures.  Send in your own holiday plans and survival secrets to: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it and let us know if you have any parenting questions you need help with.  Best of luck as the season finally changes to Fall and Happy Obsessive Parenting! Here's their website: www.dixieduderanch.com